November 30, 2005Oh upside-down Christmas treeThis is for all you folks buying upside-down Christmas trees this year. I adapted the old song Oh Christmas Tree.
My friend Gid says: July 13, 2005Are you a Psychic?I found this simple test that measures your psychic ability. These are brilliant questions developed and perfected over ages and passed down from generations of psychics though the years. I have taken some of the more brilliant question from the test and answered them below for all to see. Are you drawn towards psychics or TV shows about the paranormal?
Yes. I am also drawn to TV shows about vampires. Does that make me a vampire? I guess by that logic I am also a Hobbit, scientist, and an astronaut. When the phone rings, do you often guess who's on the other line, even with unexpected calls? Do you use your intuition when making important decisions? Do you watch TV or movies and find yourself predicting the next scene? When you are angry or upset at home, do you find that dishes accidently break, appliances malfunction, light bulbs or fuses blow? Are you inexplicably drawn towards the color pink, purple or turquoise? Do you feel sick to your stomach or have knots in your stomach when you feel you're making the wrong decision? June 16, 2005The Happy PoemA lot of people use their blogs as creative outlets in many different ways. One of the things I see people do is write poems. Most of the poems I read seem to be a bit depressing or dark so I wanted to balance all the depressing poems with the ultimate happiest poem every written on any blog (as of this posting anyway). And just remember, poems can be happy too. Guaranteed to be happy or your money back or a nice snuggly choice of baby carriers at Fox Den Lane. The Happy Poem By Jason Davis Butterfly ribbons and ice cream delight Money everywhere falling from the sky Everything wrong has been made right Now we have clean burning fuel and even space flight Mystical lands once far away Brilliant colors fill the air Love and Joy fills the room Everything in the world is right June 13, 2005Interview with Future Self: Part IIf you have been blogging for very long, odds are you have come across people conducting interviews on their blogs. Usually blogs that do this are not very popular. That is to say they get an average of 0.25 comments per post. Why then would anyone really interesting want to be interviewed on a blog that no one reads? Sounds like a waste of time, but no, they always express just how grateful they are to be interviewed. With that said, I will also be conducting an interview. Since my blog only gets an average of 0.25 comments per post who would be crazy enough to agree to an interview? Not only that but, who can I get that would be interesting enough yet with low enough self esteem to do an interview on an unpopular blog? I will tell you who. Me! Not just any o’l me. Me from the future!! Given my above average knowledge of the Force (see Star Wars) and Quantum Physics (whatever that is) I can actually make this happen. Here is how it will work. I will write out some questions for the future me then a few hours later (in the future even) I will answer them then publish the interview. If everything works out the results will appear instant to you. You may ask yourself, "Why didn't I think of that?" It is probably because I am smarter than you are, but don’t feel bad being extremely intelligent isn’t as glamorous as they make it seem in the movies. Now let’s get started. Thank you for taking the time to do this interview. No problem and thank you for having me. I am extremely grateful. First I want to say that even though you are from the past, I do not think of you as an inferior being in any way. Thank you. You’re welcome. Well.. Let’s get started. What is it like in the future? It is pretty much the same as your time only I have already eaten lunch. Has the space program made any progress? The space program hasn’t done crap in 50 years. What makes you think a few hours would make a difference? Gees, the air must be thin in your time. Has there been any cool inventions come out? No Have aliens made contact? No Have I gotten a promotion at work? @#%& No Thank you for your time. I hope we can do this again sometime. I can’t wait... June 03, 2005Largest practical joke ever pulled on AmericaFresh off the What Is Real!? News Press Has the largest practical joke ever pulled on America gone too far?
ABC’s CEO says, "It was only a joke, but idiots out there actually started watching it so we continued with the season." Network officials are baffled at how far people will go to watch really bad reality TV. Once network executive says, "It is quite funny really. We can put out any kind of crap and people will watch it. Now we are making inner office bets as to who can come up with the stupidest most insulting idea for a reality show and still have the best ratings." The new reality TV show Dancing with the Stars started out as a joke on the general public yet it has become an overnight success. The whole premise of the show centers around ballroom dancing. Fourteen your old teen Tgheafhye (pronounced Paul) says, "I love show cuz like they spin and everythin’ like that. It is sick (sick is what stupid people call something they like) yo. Plus, there are big starts doing do spinnen stuff." This mass hysteria has even gotten the government’s attention. Now additional funding has been given to research labs around the country to study our brains reaction to incredibly bad Reality TV ideas. One scientist says, "People’s brains are not meant to comprehend TV that bad. There is no human emotion that can comprehend such horror, so it has the reverses effect and people think they like it when they are in fact only confused." |
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